Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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