You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
