I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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