I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
