No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
