her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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