Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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