just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
