Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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