and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
