i barfeds in our rink
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
