I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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