How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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