I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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