That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry about my life...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
