I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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