I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize