I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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