Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
