Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
