Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
