I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize