check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.