Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Randomize
Follow @tfln