Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in