He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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