How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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