I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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