...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
