I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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