whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
