its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize