Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
