Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am one with the molecules
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
