Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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