omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
