I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
