But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
PANTIES FOUND
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
