i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she told me i tasted like america
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize