I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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