I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
