The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize