i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
