Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
