How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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