I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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