tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
