okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
