I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
