You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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