girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
