I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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