im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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