My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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