I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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