I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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