I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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