i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
