I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
