I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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