I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
