I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.