We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.